Our military personnel die with unnoticed regularity, whether the nation is at war or living in peace. When a service member dies, the news cycle often focuses on the surviving family and communities may rally around them. But the family’s grief will last long after the world has tired of the news.


Now, for the first time, surviving military parents have a book that speaks to their needs, validates their experiences, brings comfort and understanding, and provides a pathway in their journey of grief. While other grief books can help in a general way, Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You fills the void in grief resources for these parents. Through the voices of other parents and the expertise of author Joanne Steen, this easy-to-read text brings clarity and understanding into the murky world of a grieving parent.”

Betsy Beard, surviving mother of Specialist Bradley Beard, KIA Operation Iraqi Freedom

Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You is a comprehensive, yet practical guide to understanding and coping with the emotions of a military death. Whether you are a parent grieving your child’s loss, a caring friend or a professional counselor, this book will prove an invaluable resource in navigating the complexities of this unimaginable journey.”
George Lutz, Gold Star Father and Founder of Honor and Remember, Inc.

This is the book every Gold Star parent should read. After our son was killed in Afghanistan, I searched for books on the loss of a child. Many focused on losing a young child; others focused on suicide, but none dealt with losing your military son or daughter. After reading several of those books, I felt pieces of my grief puzzle were still missing. But, Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You put those missing puzzle pieces into words and validated them.


Joanne Steen’s clear descriptions of military grief helped me put into words and understand the complex emotions that I was feeling. All in all, Military Parents: We Regret To Inform You supplied the answers and understanding that those other grief books did not have.
Gold Star Mother, Virginia

Winding down armed combat in Iraq and Afghanistan does not lessen the need for Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You, as military personnel frequently die in the line of duty, within in the United States and throughout the worldwide. In this book, our nation’s gold star parents will find a resource that aids them in surviving the traumatic loss of their military son or daughter. This is the book that will help them put some pieces of their lives back together.
Gen Ralph E Eberhart, USAF (Retired)

Since 9/11, more than 19,000 US service members have died on active duty, either in combat or in other military operations and installations around the world. 19,000 deaths is a sterile statistic—one that often falls on deaf ears—except for the parents of those service members.


Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You was written for the mothers and fathers of those 19,000. It is a survival guide on military grief and loss, not only for today’s surviving military parents, but also for those who, tragically, will follow in their footsteps.


Currently, more than 10,000 troops remain in hostile areas in the Middle East and an estimated 2.1 million US military personnel serve worldwide. Thanks to Joanne Steen for sharing what she has learned during her own painful journey, and for offering helpful comfort to others going through this life-changing trauma.
Craig R. Quigley, Rear Admiral, U.S. Navy (Ret.)

Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You is a critically needed book that needs to be read slowly and carefully. It is not an easy read, but a necessary “must read” for any parent whose child died while serving the military.


Ms. Steen translates and explains the grief processes beautifully and respectfully for all parents who struggle to understand the loss of their child, the roller coaster feelings that cannot be contained, the unending questions, and the pain of inconsolable grief.


In reading this book, I thought of my maternal grandmother’s lasting emotional pain after her 24-year old son was killed by sniper fire in the Korean War. While remains were returned, she was unable to view his body. Shortly after his funeral, she was hospitalized and was not ever able—or perhaps even allowed—to truly make peace with the fact that he had been killed. More than twenty years later, there were days when she still questioned whether or not mistakes were made and if he had really died.
Donna Podrazik, Psy.D.

Professionals, even those familiar with grief work, have much to gain from the pages of Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You. Military losses are truly complex circumstances and many factors much be considered in working with parents whose son or daughter has died or been killed during their military service.
Donna Podrazik, Psy.D.